Cherry Tree
by PepiCrack
Summary: A Gamzee x Tavros multichapter fanfic rated m for drug use, molestation, rapes and sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

***A/N**

**This is a multi-chapter HUMANSTUCK story so it isn't just a smutty scene, there is a plot to this and it will be long.**

**Also, I'm sorry for the mistakes because i don't have a proper spell-check program, i will try to fix as many as i can.**

**ALSO, this is my first fanfic so go easy.**

**Rated M for future scenes and drug use.**

**Pairing: Gamzee x Tavros and a little bit of Sollux x Tavros**

**Homestuck doesn't belong to me, if it did no one would read it.***

**Remember this is ****HUMANstuck**

*CHAPTER 1*

Your name is GAMZEE MAKARA and your currently having the WORST time of your life.

You spend the majority of your time sitting in your room just staring at the walls. You tend to zone out a lot ever since you started smoking weed. The shit was miraculous, you couldn't get enough of it. You knew it was bad for you, and you knew it was seriously messing up your head, but you didn't care. Tavros, your best friend, didn't approve of the drug at all, and he constantly reminded you of such. He would pretend to have little fits and constantly argue with you about how you were going

to kill yourself one day.

You shared an apartment with Tavros, and you were trusted to pay most of the bills. Tavros was disabled. Paraplegic. He couldn't really find a way to get money. So you got a job at the nearby library, you figured you'd be able to get away with showing up at work high. It was a quiet place and that was perfect.

You'd chill with Tavros, play Pokemon and bake together. Just do plain simple things that wouldn't cause Tavros to overwork himself. You really loved him. He was always there and he never left your side no matter what. He knew about all of your problems in your past and he cared. He cared. No body ever cared about you. That's what you think anyways.

Having these feeling for Tavros was an extreme problem. You knew you leaned more towards guys when it came to relationships, but you have never told anyone else.

Especially not Tavros. You wanted him to stay with you, you wouldn't risk scaring him away. The main reason you started smoking pot was to get your mind off of the sick things you wanted to do with him. You thought of yourself as disgusting.

Whenever that little bit of blush appeared on his face, you wanted to lean in and kiss him. You wanted to touch him. You desperately wanted to touch him and make him say your name. Every time he awkwardly fumbled with his hands when he was embarrassed. The way he would cutely tilt his head off to the side and pinch his tongue between his teeth when he was concentrating. It was all so adorable to you. You felt sick to your stomach whenever you even began to think of corrupting his innocence. You hated yourself for that. You were sick, and disgusting and people like you deserved to die.

But, temptations. He was so irresistible.

Your childhood may be the reason why your so disgusting today.

When you were younger you father left you, he said nothing and just left. You remember him so well. He always smelled like sea water, maybe because he was a fisherman.

He had a small grey beard and he would scratch it all the time. You'd call him 'goat-dad' and he would laugh and pat your head like he always did. He'd leave for days on fishing trips and come back only to rest a night and leave again. But one time, he never came back. You would sit by the beach and wait for him to come back home.

You were all alone at a little empty beach house for weeks.

Eventually people noticed you all alone on the beach, and someone must have reported it because a tall man came up to you one day and asked you where your parents were.

You didn't say a word. With your left arm extended all the way out in front of you, you pointed at the ocean.

The man didn't say anything, he just pat your head and knelt down beside you. He sat there and stared at the ocean with you.

Eventually he said something.

"My name is Gerald H. Bland, I'm your uncle." He turned his head to look at you, " If you like you can come live with me." as he said that he stood up and offered a hand. You reached up with your hand and stood up. You were only about seven years old so you were staring at his stomach. You looked up with an almost confused look on your face.

You still didn't say anything but you still held on to his hand. You looked at the ground and nodded twice, he squeezed your hand a little.

Little did you know you just made the worst decision of you life.

Your uncle was fucking insane. He would expect you to do everything one hundred percent, if you failed to do so he would hit you with his fists or a club. He was always hard on you and you were terrified of him. But you never dared to defy him.

One time you rescued a baby bird you found at the park, it was injured and wasn't going to make it much longer. Your uncle made you kill it. You were always a kind and

loving person, and you would have never hurt anything ever. But you wouldn't dare defy your uncle, so you killed it.

Your uncle would choke you and scratch you in your sleep. He'd come home drunk at night and he would touch you. You never said a word as he did this though, you were too scared that he would hit you or worse.

He never went farther then touching you, but it still made you curl up and cry and scream into your pillow when he was gone. You knew it was wrong, even though you were young, you still knew.

He would do it every night and it got more frequent, but you still never moved or said a word. You were smarter than that.

He never talked about it, he was always gone during the day at work. Fishing and doing his daily rounds. While he was gone you would walk along the beach or just sit in your room and cry.

You were terrified but you couldn't tell anyone. You didn't go to school, you had no friends and no job was provided for you considering you were only seven years old.

You loved the water but you never learned how to swim, and you were scared of fish. You were ashamed to admit it though. You remember once when you were younger you walking along the shore and you seen a boy and a girl out swimming in the water.

You sheepishly waved at them but they didn't see. So you sighed and continued on walking. Slouched over with your hands in your pockets. Kicking the occasional rock that appeared in front of your shoeless foot.

Often you would collect shells and try to sell them to people but no one would buy them. You actually made a little stand once and put a sign up for 5 cent shells. No body bought any.

Your uncle continued his abuse and molestation until you turned around twelve years old. That's when it got worse.

He'd begin to beat you when you were down, hitting you with a bat or a club. You'd scream until it felt like your chest would rip right out, but you knew no one would hear you. All you could do is lie there helplessly and listen to the sound of your bones cracking.

Your uncle would take you to the hospital and make up an excuse like a biking accident and try to make it sound like it was all your fault. Of course you would go along with it out of fear.

Not only had the abuse gotten worse so did the touching.

He would come home drunk (as usual) and come into your room, of course you were prepared, wide awake but your eyes were closed. He'd begin running his hands all over you, scratching you and pulling your hair.

Then he kissed you.

He actually kissed you and bit your bottom lip, like actually bit down on it, drawing blood. That's when your eyes flew open and you began to freak out, visibly shaking. Your uncle-

You don't want to remember anymore.

You take a long drag off your joint, holding in the smoke before blowing out out in front of you and laughing a little at the colour.

Your nine-teen years old and you've been living with Tavros for three months now.

What was that bad thing that happened today again?

WOOH I'm leaving you hanging!

Ill probably post the next chapter soon

Hope you liked it. -Pepi


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay everyone, here's chapter two.**

**Wooh lets get started!**

**Hmm... anymore thing i need to say?**

**Uh, hmm nope... feel free to ask me questions if your confused I guess.**

**Here we go.**

*CHAPTER 2*

Your name is TAVROS NITRAM and your currently more ANGRY and CONFUSED then you've ever felt.

You spend the majority of _your _time wheeling around in your awesome wheel chair, and spending time with your best friend Gamzee. You got into an accident when you where about twelve years old and you broke your back. Ever since you haven't been able to feel your legs. You dealt with it well though, constantly reminding yourself to stay confident.

Lately things haven't been going well though. Your best friend Gamzee had started smoking weed, and he knew you didn't approve. You knew drugs were bad, no matter how many people may use them and say "its fine" or "they are basically harmless, and an escape", he still knew they were horrible. They HURT people, they KILLED people. So, you stayed away from them.

You had always loved your friend Gamzee, and you always will, but sometimes you get fed up with his cussing and at the fact that sometimes you talk to him and he doesn't even listen.

But this time he crossed the line. He knew how you felt about drugs.

You knew _why_ he started them though. It was all your fault.

When you were younger you'd been put into adoption after your parent died in a car crash. You don't remember them well, but you remember your mothers silky brown hair and how you loved to smell it and tangle your hands in it. Sometimes you would miss it, but you never understood why. You barely knew her.

You were adopted by a sweet, young lady named Piper. You thought no one would adopt you because of how self conscious you were. But, alas, from the moment she seen you she fell in love with you. She told you it was your eyes. You liked this, it made you more confident.

She like you to call her 'mom' but you usually called her 'Tinker', you loved peter pan and she reminded you of tinker bell the most.

Plus you loved the idea of having a fairy, and flying away with her.

Most of your time was spent playing Pokemon, or watching peter pan and acting out all the parts. You also had school, which you didn't really enjoy much. People would pick on you and call you names like 'faggot' just because one time you showed up at school dressed up as Peter Pan.

They made fun of your long hair that fluffed out at the top and looked funny. So one day you shaved the sides to make the top look like a little mo-hawk, and you've kept it like that since. You like the way it looked and so did Tinker.

Around when you were about nine years old, that's when things got bad, and progressively worse.

Tinker left to go to her usual day job as an animal caretaker, and you went to school. It was an ordinary day to you, nothing could go wrong.

When you came home all you could smell was a bitter smell that burned the inside of your nose and made your head hurt. You dropped your bag on the floor and tip-toed up to Tinkers room. The smell progressively getting stronger the closer you got.

"Uh, Tinker?"

No answer.

You creaked the door open a bit to see nothing. Tinker wasn't on her bed or on the floor. There was no sign of her anywhere. You walked into the room a little to take a look at what was on the bed.

By now the smell was overwhelming, you had to cover your mouth with your hand to make sure you didn't breathe anymore of it in.

You spotted an ashtray on the nightstand, and inside was a cigarette. Just a plain cigarette. You had no idea Tinker smoked. In fact you had never known anyone who smoked let alone been this close to one. You were always smart and stayed away from drugs. Even cigarettes.

You curiously picked up the cigarette, it was nearly all burnt up. You uncovered your mouth and took an experimental sniff. Almost immediately you began coughing, it was a terrible smell. You were still curious though.

You stuck the end of the cigarette in your mouth carefully, you had no idea who was smoking that. What if it wasn't Tinker? You breathed in cautiously trying to take a puff from the cigarette, and again you spit out the cigarette and fell down in a fit of coughing.

You would never do that again.

You picked up the cigarette and put it back in the ashtray, dusted off your clothes and ran to the bathroom so you could shower and brush your teeth.

Tinker didn't come home that night.

You waited up all night, sitting on your bed and playing Pokemon instead of doing your homework.

It was about midnight when you finally passed out. You don't remember hearing her come home at all.

The next morning you woke up, walked around the house and smelled for more peculiar smells.

There was no sign of Tinker.

But, the cigarette was gone from her the ashtray.

Someone was here. They might still be here. What if they could see you right now?

You ran into your room and locked the door. You called Tinkers cell phone.

She told you never to call her, EVER. Unless it was an absolute emergency.

So you called.

You slid down the wall and sat in the corner as you listened to the ringing of the phone and waited for her to answer. There was a small click on the other end, and then the call ended.

Did she hang up?

It was then that you heard footsteps creaking up the hallway.

You squeaked a small screech before you covered your mouth with both your hands. You began to feel tears welling up in your eyes and your heart was beating so hard you felt like it was going to burst.

A soft knocking.

You stared at the door in horror. You could barely manage to say anything.

"H-h-h-ell-lo?"

"Tavvy? Are you in there? Its okay its just me Tinker."

You let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding in. You stood up and walked over to the door quickly to open it and find Tinker standing there.

She was a wreck.

Her usual ruffled up blonde hair that fluffed out on either side of her head and hugged her face was dirty tangled and messy.

You knew Tinker well, and she was NEVER messy.

Her makeup was smeared and her eyes were blood shot.

She had stains on her clothes and you could see some blood stains and several bruises.

The sight was simply terrifying.

You stared up in horror at Tinker. She simple looked back in your eyes and smiled a weak smile.

"I'm sorry Tav, I was late. I didn't mean to worry you"

"Tink! What happened?"

You rushed to her side to help her, holding her lightly. She was a small woman so she was very light. You were only nine so you could lift her, but you helped her to her room to lay down.

"Tav, I'll be fine, i just got into some trouble."

Despite what she said she willingly went to her room to lie down. She knew you wouldn't stop until she was cared for. She raised you well.

You asked her if you could call the hospital but she said shed be fine.

You helped her fix up. You made her some canned soup and a peanut butter and jam sandwich. Her favourite.

You got her a cold washcloth and some bandages. When you came back to the room she was dressed in pyjamas and her hair was up.

You smiled at her and walked over to hand her the cloth and medical supplies.

She smiled back.

You did not sleep that night.

You asked her what had happened the next day. It was the weekend and you didn't have school and she didn't go to work.

All she said was, "Never ever say yes to drugs, stay away from them at parties, and make sure you stay away from people with them. Can you promise me you'll never take drugs ever?"

You felt like you'd already broken that promise from before when you tried that cigarette. But you nodded and hugged Tinker tightly.

You knew exactly what happened.

Things continued on and you grew up, everything was great.

Tinker got better, and you never seen or smelled cigarettes again.

You'd met a girl around when you were 11 years old. Her name was Vriska. She picked on you and harassed you but you were great friends. Shed had problems with her mom and you both had dealt with tough pasts. You got along well.

So eventually you asked her out. You weren't exactly attracted to her, but you did want to spend more time with her so you braved up and asked her. It took you two weeks to actually muster up the courage to ask her.

You decided on going sledding together. It sounded fun and she liked the idea. You also knew a perfect hill where you could sled.

There was a little cliff off the edge but you had never noticed it. You took turns sledding down the hill and after a while it got boring so she thought of a game to play.

It was stupid but you agreed. She wanted to see if you could go down backwards. Naturally, you accepted her challenge. That's when things went downhill **(omg PUN!)**.

You couldn't see where you were going so you didn't see the approaching ledge. You could see Vriska pointing and yelling but you couldn't hear what she was saying.

Then you felt light and seen a flash of white then black. All you could hear was Vriska laughing from a distance. Then silence.

You felt odd. You were definitely hurt but, why couldn't you feel the pain you were waiting for?

You shouted for Vriska, but no words came out. Then you realized you weren't breathing and you started gasping for breath. You decided to just close your eyes and wait.

Then everything went blank. No noise, no feeling, no light.

All you can remember is waking up, it was cold and the room was light.

You were laying in a bed, blankets on top of you and a small T.V. remote sitting on the bedside table.

You knew where you were. You were in a hospital. You must have gotten hurt.

You began searching for your injury, checking your arms first then your head. Then you finally realized something. It was the most shocking, most terrifying thing you've ever realized.

You couldn't feel them.

You couldn't feel your legs.

Instantly you started to feel if they were actually there. They were. Then why couldn't you feel them?

WHAT WAS GOING ON?

You heard foot steps in the hall way. You could hear Tinker and a woman talking.

"Mom!" You screamed.

You were practically freaking out. You couldn't feel you fucking legs! Of course you were freaking out.

You heard the footsteps running and the sound of a bad dropping in the doorway.

Tinker hugged you tightly and started crying right there. Right in your arms.

And you cried too, because you knew what happened. You didn't need to ask. You couldn't feel your legs.

You'd never walk again.

You'd never run, jump, swim, or ride a bike again.

You were nothing but scared.

You stayed in the hospital for a while after, you were given a wheel chair. You had to visit the hospital everyday and go through lessons and physical training.

They put you on a medication that would help keep you strong.

You hated it all. You wish you never went sledding that day.

But, you were a strong believer in the fact that 'everything happens for a reason'.

This whole ordeal did not help with you self consciousness issues.

You eventually mastered your wheel chair and how how to deal with basic everyday things without using your legs.

You could still feel your crotch, _thank GOD!_

You began going to school again, you didn't talk to Vriska anymore. Not because you were mad, but because she avoided you. This made you sad. But, you dealt with it. You were confident.

_Anyways why was it your fault Gamzee was smoking weed again?_

_*** Next chapter coming soon ***_


	3. Chapter 3

***Oh, hey I noticed like nobody is reading this but ill continue anyways :,) **

**Thank you to the people who have left the nice reviews***

Oh yeah, that's right.

A week ago. That thing that happened.

You were strolling down to the park that morning in hopes of a nice view and a chance to relax for a while. Gamzee had been acting a little clingy and you needed a little break. Sometimes he was just so pushy. But, you loved him. He gave you butterflies and made you blush. He was gentle and loving and he understood you more than anyone else ever could. You loved his fluffy purple dyed hair and his silly clown make-up. You loved his goofy smile and his blue eyes that almost looked like they were purple. You loved his tongue piercing.

Of course, he didn't know this. To him you were his best pal. You didn't want to screw that up by telling him your feelings. But, you still planned to one day.

You heaved in a little sigh of happiness and blew out some foggy air. You giggled a little and pretended you were a dragon in your imagination. Blowing the fog out your nose. It was a little cold, spring was just around the corner. You loved spring. That also reminded you that your birthday was coming up soon too. Maybe you should make plans?

You were wearing your usual attire. A pair of black jeans with a black and purple checkered belt. Some orange sneakers Tinker got you for Christmas. A black and grey striped long sleeve shirt and an orange hanker-chief around your neck. And you wore your favourite jacket. It was purple, to match your belt. Gamzee had gotten it for you for Christmas. You wore it all winter, barely ever taking it off to wash it. It was warm and padded on the inside. It had a collar and a detachable hood. You were a pretty stylish guy.

Just because you were disabled didn't mean you couldn't look good.

You had an array of piercings as well, you went through a rebellious stage a couple years back. You had a septum piercing (your favourite). Gamzee joked about how you looked like a little bull. You also had an eyebrow piercing on the left and both your ears were pierced. The most painful piercing you got though, were your collar bones. They looked good and all, but man did they hurt when you got them done. You were lucky to have Gamzee there with you.

As you made your way into the park you noticed the figure of a man sitting on the park bench. You quickly recognized it.

"Hey! Uh, Sollux!" You waved at him when he turned around to face you, "What you doing here uh, so early?"

He waved hi hand at you, "Thup? Jutht chilling out here... Karkat kicked me out."

You wheeled your chair over to the bench so you were beside him and half-facing him so you could look at him while you talked. You'd become a lot less socially awkward scince you met Gamzee a couple years ago. "What? Did, uh, something happen?" You looked down at your hands a little embarrassed for asking such a snoopy question.

Sollux looked ahead of him with a pained expression on his face. Whatever happened it wasn't good. What if he-

"He dumped me, thaid I wath thmuthering him and that he needed thpace."

Oh shit, this wasn't good at all. That was probably the worst case scenario. Sollux would probably kill himself, you knew how much Sollux loved him. You slightly outstretched your arms for a hug. Even though you hate physical contact with people, you knew he needed it so you offered it.

Sollux noticed the offer and instantly stood up, walked over, and knelt down to embrace you. It was an affectionate hug. What happened next you were NOT expecting at all.

Sollux leaned up from the hug and grabbed both your cheeks with his hands. He looked you strait in the eyes and kissed you full on.

The sudden kiss shocked you, but after a minute of trying to get away you finally surrendered and kissed him back. You'd never actually considered how you felt about Sollux, but now that this was happening you figured he wasn't that bad. You could take to liking him.

Sollux began running his tongue lightly against your bottom lip and you opened you mouth, a little unsure at first.

Sollux began exploring your mouth with his tongue, creating sloppy wet noises and occasional whimpers from you. You were enjoying this. Finally a chance to get rid of some of your sexual tension.

Suddenly Sollux pulled away with a dark and worried expression on his face. He leaned in again only to whisper in you ear,

"You should go, heth watching."

You turned around to see the dark figure of Gamzee walking away. _Wait! Why was he here? Did he follow you? Oh shit! He seen you make out with Sollux._

"Uh, shit I, uh should probably go, yeah..." You frowned and waved to Sollux, still blushing. What the hell just happened?

You wheeled back home quickly, you knew it would take you at least 15 minutes to make it back to the apartment you shared with Gamzee. Hes probably not even there. Why would he be upset though, hes just your friend, nothing more. Its not like you were cheating on him. But you still felt like you betrayed him, like he had just witnessed you cheating on him.

It was starting to get foggy outside, perfect. If it rained you'd be drenched when you go home. Luckily you had the jacket Gamzee gave you. Fuck, you felt terrible.

You felt a little drop of water on your nose. Shit. You began to wheel faster (if that was possible).

The rain was coming down hard, luckily you were almost there, it would take you only about 2 minutes till you were back in a warm home with a blanket and some warm clothes. And some hot chocolate, damn did you love the way Gamzee made you hot chocolate. It was so creamy and warm you couldn't wait-

Oh yeah thats right, when you got back, Gamzee sure as hell would not be making you hot chocolate. You'll have to think of some way to explain to him about what just happened, though you shouldn't have to. You feel like you have to.

You wheeled up a ramp that led to your front door. You fumbled with your keys, your hands were shaking. _Ahah! There it is. _You inserted the key and cautiously turned it slowly. You twisted the knob and pushed the door open before wheeling in the door. No Gamzee. No trace he'd been there at all. He must've gone out. Hopefully hell come home, you were worried.

You might as well kick back and watch your favourite movie, Peter Pan, it's still morning but why the hell not. Its not like you were going anywhere soon. This was definitely going to be a long day. You hated it when you worried. Gamzee most likely went to Karkat's house, or maybe out drinking.

You wheeled over to your T.V. Set and grabbed the movie that was always laying on top of the DVD player. Peter Pan. You loved this movie ever since you were little. In fact you even called your guardian Tinker. You wished you could go on an adventure like Peter Pan's, or go to a land full of mystery and discovery and beauty. You admired beautiful things, such as flowers and fairies. You loved to just sit outside and look at the scenery. You found it calming.

You clicked the movie in to the player and pressed play, turned on the T.V., and wheeled over to the couch. You somehow managed to skillfully lift yourself out of your chair to sit on the couch, then you proceeded to struggle with lifting your legs up so you could lay down comfortably.

Suddenly your wheelchair began to roll away, this always happened. Looked like you would be stuck on the couch now. Gamzee usually would fetch your wheelchair for you, but he wasn't here this time.

You were probably laying in the most uncomfortable position ever right now but you didn't really care. You just wanted to watch your movie and forget about Gamzee for maybe one second. You knew this wasn't going to happen...

About half way into the movie you passed out, damn you hadn't been getting much sleep lately. You've been having recurring bad dreams. Not like it was anything new though, you had bad dreams often.

Suddenly you woke up to the sound of knocking at the door. _Shit, what time was it?_ You leaned your head back awkwardly to check the clock, HOLY SHIT! 8:30? How the hel-

Knocking again.

Oh yeah, someones at the door, probably Gamzee. You cant get to the door though, your wheelchairs on the other side of the room.

"Uh, who is it?"

"Open the motherfucking door, Tavros."

"I cant I'm kinda stuck on the couch..." You pondered your brain for an idea, nothing coming to mind.

"I SAID OPEN THE MOTHERFUCKING DOOR!"

You jumped back a little, Gamzee usually didn't shout. But he was probably drenched and cold, that usually makes him upset, he doesn't like water much. Suddenly you remember something, fuck you were an idiot sometimes.

"Uh, Gamzee, I think there should be a spare key in, uh, the little space in the carpet. Remember?"

You heard some cursing and some scratching outside the door before it swung open and Gamzee stormed in. He was soaked. His t-shirt and tight jeans clung to his skinny frame. You found it a little attractive.

He didn't say anything, he just stormed right on over to where you were laying down and crawled on top of you. He placed he knees on either sides of your hips and pinned your wrists above your head.

What th-

"G-Gamzee, what are you, uh doing. Your hurting me!" You shouted and tried to pull away from him, what was he doing. This was wrong. Sure you loved Gamzee and you fantasized about him occasionally, but you never thought it would happen this way.

"Just shut up." He looked at you with the darkest expression you've ever seen him wear. This was seriously happening.

He shoved his knee between your legs and began to press roughly against your developing erection. This was embarrassing. You whimpered slightly.

He released your wrists, you contemplated struggling to get away. Of course you should try to get away, Gamzee was drunk and he was attacking you! This was not good. You felt sick for taking pleasure in it. He probably didn't even know what he was doing.

"Try to get away... and it'll hurt more motherfucker." He began removing his jeans, quickly attempting to get the button undone with one hand.

**((god my chapters are too short... guh the next chapter might take a while, im having real life problems.))**


	4. Chapter 4

**((I'm so sorry about how long this took, I was going through some emotional drama. I am finding this extremely difficult to write given my situation right now...**

**But ill get on with it, hope this isn't offensive material to anyone. Oh, and thank you for the kind reviews, they keep me going and they make me so happy.))**

Once he discarded his pants and threw them on the cold floor, he began to reach down to unbutton yours. You squirmed and looked up at him in utter terror. _Was he- Is he going to- Why like this?_

Your mind was engulfed in thoughts of the upcoming events until suddenly you felt the cold sensation of the air hitting your erection. You never really touched yourself, or looked at yourself for that matter, so you were quite surprised when you looked down at it. Gamzee roughly pulled down your pants the rest of the way, you could see he was struggling with your legs. Your legs that would probably get in the way.

You battled your thoughts about the fact as to whether you liked this or not, you knew you shouldn't. For goodness sake, Gamzee was basically raping you. Yet, you didn't put up a fight, all you did was stare at him in utter and truthful horror. In fact, you've never been so terrified in your life.

But you were still exited. You've wanted him for so long, definitely not like this, but still.

He had you pinned down on the couch, his legs on either sides of your hips. He ground up against you with his clothed erection. He was wearing black boxers with a purple Capricorn sign on the front. His shirt was discarded long ago. You on the other hand, still had your long sleeve shirt on, and you were beginning to feel very hot.

Gamzee leaned down and whispered something to you that you couldn't hear over your thoughts. You knew you had to be blushing very badly. You could hear your heart beat in your ears. You could hear its uneven pace. You felt Gamzee's hot breath against your jaw. The trail of breath was going lower. To your neck, you knew it was sensitive there.

He began to lick and suck roughly at your neck, leaving a small trail to the side, leading to where your neck and shoulder met. He bit down roughly, breaking the skin and causing you to bleed. You attempted to hide a small squeak of pain, and instead of a squeak, you moaned.

You've never made a noise like that before. This felt so good, even though you knew it was wrong. You decided you just needed to stop thinking, stop being Tavros for a minute and focus on what was going on right now. This was what you had been waiting for right? Its what you wanted.

You wanted this.

Gamzee licked over your bleeding shoulder, it wasn't bleeding much. Then Gamzee began to pepper small kisses up to your jaw again and that's when you realized just how intimate this was getting. This wasn't him being rough, he was kissing you. Not on the lips, but he was kissing you. As if he was apologizing for biting you. You smiled a little. Moaning again a little louder when he began to suck on your neck. Those mark would definitely be embarrassing later.

Suddenly and abruptly, Gamzee leaned up from you neck. He looked you right in the eyes. His eyes were so clouded and hazy. He was definitely drunk.

"Sorry, Tavbro" Gamzee pushed off of you and stood up from the couch. He walked over to where you wheelchair had rolled and he pushed it to the edge of my bed on the other side of the room. Then he walked over to where i was laying on the couch, piking me up in both arms, he carried me over to my bed.

"Uh, G-Gamzee..." Your stutter was embarrassing but you didn't care. Why did he stop? He was probably just tired. You wouldn't fight him, not right now. Not when he was gently tucking you into bed and making sure your wheelchair was beside you for the morning.

You were still naked from the waist down though, and erect. Which was very unconfortable, but you had to suffice for now. Asking Gamzee to bring you clothes would be a stupid thing to do right now. It would just ruin the moment.

You squirmed a little into a comfortable position, well, as comfortable as you could get. You still had a little problem...

When Gamzee was sure you were in bed, he rushed over to the counter and grabbed the key. The he open the door and ran outside. Right into the rain. WHAT! He was leaving you? What just happened?

"Gamzee!"

"I gotta motherfucking run Tavbro, Ill be home later." You could barely hear him as he shut the door, leaving you with nothing but the sound of the rain pattering outside the walls of your apartment. You snuggled a little into the sheets of your bed. You figure this was all just a bad dream. All just a confusing bad dream. Maybe if you slept, you'd wake up to everything being normal and making sense again.

You shut your eyes and reluctantly passed into sleep.

**I am so so so so so so sorry this is all i could give you right now, but i figured id left you waiting long enough. Ill be right back on track again everyone, next chapter will be soon i promise, WHERE AM I GOIN WITH THIS PLOT!**

**Please go ahead and leave suggestions in the reviews, i would LOVE them and i really need something to work off of here XD**

**/ollies outie**


	5. Chapter 5

**HOLY SHIT ITS BEEN LIKE TWO MONTHS ALMOST!**

**Sorry for not updating, I'm a huge ass... sorry**

**oh god just so much personal drama gosh... ill try to start a schedule okay.**

**(also, this is just a bit of a view of how they met and before the whole mess... well cover that in the next chapter hopefully.)**

**-cries-**

You heard some shuffling in the side of the room where Tavros slept, was he seriously leaving already? But that would mean that he would miss the morning cuddle session. Damn do you ever love those cuddles. Even if Tavros was constantly pushing him away, he knew he loved them too. You rolled over onto your side and peered over to see what Tavros was doing. You ground your teeth together and frowned as you noticed that he had been awkwardly shifting into his wheelchair. It upset you that he would never let you help him.

You reached up with your hand to quickly scratch behind you ear and let out a huge yawn. Damn waking up early was definitely a thing you hated doing. But you did have to work today. At 9:30.

You glanced over at the clock, the glowing red numbers stated that it was only 6:00. Well that settles it, back to bed.

You heard the scuttling and shuffling of Tavros getting his jacket on and wheeling out the door, locking it behind him. You let out a small sigh of disappointment, the little motherfucker didn't even say goodbye. Your feelings are a little hurt, but you usually don't ponder things for very long. You've learned that if you just let everything slide, you wont be bothered or upset anymore. Despite your terrible childhood, you've grown up to be a decent guy who is okay with everything and appreciates all the small details. You like to call them miracles and you often babble on about every little thing being a miracle. People have just come to enjoy that about you though.

Trying to sleep proved harder than usual, you just couldn't be still. You wanted to move. So you hopped of the your sad excuse for a bed, which was actually an old couch mattress, and waltzed over to your laundry hamper to pull out some clothes that didn't smell to awful. You aren't exactly the most sanitary guy but you try sometimes. Now was not one of those times. You ran your hand through your tangled blonde hair, which was surprisingly bright despite how dirty it was, and changed into your 'cleaner' day clothes. Showering would have to wait for later.

You shuffled into your purple converse and your jean jacket, grabbed a bottle of faygo (your favourite drink that you just cant go without) and walked out the door, locking it behind you. While shealding your eyes from the sudden blueish brightness, you took a deep breath and open the cap to your pop.

"Ah, today is gonna be a motherfuckin' miraculous day." You stated. What you failed to notice though, was that the sky's were grey and it was sure to rain later. While taking a swig from your drink you began to walk forward to that park, where you assumed Tavros would be. He usually goes there in the mornings to look at the view. What a miracle. Tavros was a miracle.

Your miracle.

He saved you more than once. Yeah sure, you stuck up for him when people bullied him in school, but he saved your life by just being there. You were abused and molested when you were younger by your uncle who raised you. You didn't go to school until you where almost fourteen and it took you a long time to catch up to your current grade. You studied weekend and you didn't take summers. You worked super hard.

People thought you were a retard because of how you didn't go to the classrooms to work or the fact that you looked creepy from your clown make-up and had no friends. Until Tavros came along. He didn't work in the classrooms either because his wheelchair got in the way. So one day you sat down beside him in the DLC room you worked in. He didn't say anything to you and he really just seemed afraid. But after a month or so of bothering him, he managed to tell you his name and that he just wanted to be left alone.

That is until you turned the corner of the school one day to find three bullies kicking the crap out of Tavros. You didn't even have to touch those kids, all you had to do was glare at them and they were gone. You figured it was your clown make-up. That scares a lot of people though you'd prefer it to have the opposite effect...

"Holy motherfuck, they beat you up something fierce!" You walked over to his side to wipe some of the blood off his face with you thumb. You stared at it for a second and then just shrugged and wiped it on your pants. "Hey," You knelt down a little closer so your face was hovering just above his "can you talk there, chika?"

"I-I'm... not a girl..." You could see he was shaking a little and trying to glare at you.

"Alright Tav." You stood up to walk over to where his wheelchair was, it was tipped over on it side. It took you a second of fumbling to pick it up properly and roll it over to where Tavros was laying. You reached out and picked him up from under the arms and helped him sit in his wheelchair.

"T-thanks for, uh, kinda saving me, i guess..." Tavros mumbled and looked down at his lap.

"No problem Tavbro, now I think there's a motherfucking restroom around here. We should get you cleaned up"

Tavros nodded and you turned the corner and started rolling his wheelchair to the nearest restroom. Once inside you placed him in front of the mirror and grabbed him a paper towel, wet it under the sink, and handed it to him so he could clean the almost dry blood off his face.

You and Tavros stuck together for the rest of the school year, he liked some of the things you liked and he didn't really judge you at all for your appearance. You told him the reason you wore the clown make-up was because of the bruises on your face (you told him they were there from you being clumsy, but they were actually from Gerald, your abusive uncle) and because you all around loved clowns and thought it was mirthful.

Tavros invited you over on several occasions, you were never slept over, partly because you didn't want to (because you'd have to remove your make-up before bed) and partly because Gerald wouldn't let you.

You played Pokemon, and watched movies.

You learned a lot about Tavros, you learned that he was adopted, that he liked Pokemon and peter pan, he liked role playing, he liked to rap with you on occasion (usually ending in a fit of giggles) and you also learned that he was bullied a whole motherfucking lot.

So you did what any good natured friend would do, you beat the snot out of any kid who lay a finger on your little miracle.

You may not look it, but you can lay a fierce punch. You learned to fight back after years of being abused. Anger proved to be an issue with you, once you lay the first hit they don't stop coming until your foe lay motionless with an unrecognizable face. This got you in trouble only a few times until people just knew not to mess with Tavros.

You snapped out of your thoughts when you noticed you were walking on grass. You took a sip of your faygo and looked up to notice you were standing right behind a tree.

"Hey there chika, lookin' fine today" You winked at the tree and leaned to the side to peek over the side.

You stood there, held your faygo, and just stared at the scene in front of you.

Tavros was sitting in his chair, wearing an adorable outfit as usual, and he was having sloppy make-outs with some guy you didn't recognize. Wait-

_Is that Sollux?_

You turned on your heel and sprinted off, you had work in three hours. You figured you'd just go there now, you'd rather be there than here. You'd rather be anywhere other than here.

***Just wanted to put this note here, i was thinking of deleting this whole story all together because all whole bunch of crap went down and i ended up having to move out but i'm going to continue :)**

**Your reviews are so sweet and they make me so happy i tear up sometimes. So thank you so much for being here and reading this.***

**The next chapter might take a while because i'm packing and stuff, but i will try to make it soon :)**


	6. Important Note

Im really sorry to everyone who was reading this, but for now this fic is discontinued. I will be posting my works on Archive of Our Own from now on aswell.

Im making a new GamTav fanfic there and it will be extremly close to this one but more well written.

Sorry again,

here the link to my Ao3

/users/PepiCrack

hopefully that link works.


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